8 Real Estate Jokes

Dated: 03/17/2015

Views: 858

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Here is a piece of humor for the day for real estate professionals, and their sellers and buyers....
  • Competition

A small real estate broker was dismayed when a brand new corporate chain much like his own opened up next door and erected a huge sign which read BEST AGENTS. He was horrified when another competitor opened up on his right, and announced its arrival with an even larger sign, reading LOWEST COMMISSIONS. The small real estate broker panicked, until he got an idea. He put the biggest sign of all over his own brokerage-it read... MAIN ENTRANCE.       

  • How’s Business?

IN A crowded elevator, one man asked another, "How's business?" "Last year we sold 500,000 houses, 700,000 farms and 750,000 schools," came the reply. "This year we ought to do equally well and, in addition, sell 1,200,000 garages." As the elevator descended, there was heavy silence for a moment. Then someone spoke up indignantly. "Sir," he said, "I'm in real estate, and those figures are preposterous!" He didn't know that the man boasting about his business was the marketing director of a major toy company.

  • Signs

A broker was dismayed when a brand new real estate office much like his own opened up next door and erected a huge sign which read 'BEST AGENTS.' He was horrified when another competitor opened up on his right, and announced its arrival with an even larger sign, reading 'LOWEST COMMISSIONS.' The broker panicked, until he got an idea. He put the biggest sign of all over his own real estate office. It read: 'MAIN ENTRANCE'

  • Shoe Store

Two real estate agents decided to start a new career to sell shoe. The two real estate agents go to Africa to open up new markets. Three days after arriving, one real estate agent said, "I’m returning on the next flight.

Can’t sell shoes here. Everybody goes barefoot." At the same time the other real estate agent sent an email to the factory, telling "The prospects are unlimited. Nobody wears shoes here!"

  • Job Well Done

Seller to Agent:  You’ve done such a great job describing my house in your real estate listing that I’ve decided to keep it!

  • Ten Commandments

A real-estate agent, had difficulty getting a listing from a customer whose theory was that "there is no substitute for experience." After he asked her a third time how many years she had been in the business, she told him: "Sir, there is a little-known historical fact that Moses brought three tablets down from the mountain-two were the Ten Commandments and the other was my real-estate license!" She got the listing.

  • Telephone Man

A young broker had just started his own real estate office. He rented a beautiful office and had it furnished with antiques. Sitting there, he saw a man come into the outer office. Wishing to appear the hot shot, the broker picked up the phone and started to pretend he had a big deal working. He threw huge figures around and made giant commitments. Finally he hung up and asked the visitor, "Can I help you?" The man said, "Yeah, I've come to activate your phone lines."

  • Low Maintenance

I listed a maintenance free house. In the last 25 years there hasn't been any maintenance.

Lol...

I hope you all enjoyed it! Have a great day everybody!

Denver Co Real Estate- Luba Jeltov

I specialize in Denver Colorado and surrounding communities of metro Denver area. If you are selling your home I will make sure you get TOP dollar. If you are looking to purchase a home I will make sure that you get the best deal possible. Please contact me directly via phone or text at 303-817-6818.

Luba Jeltov
Exit Realty Chery Creek
Direct: 303-817-6818|
Email: luba@exitrealtycherrycreek.com
www.lubasellsdenver.com

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Sheryll White

As a Full Time real estate agent for the past 23 years, Sheryll has helped hundreds of home owners in Colorado buy and sell their homes. Sheryll's easy going, no pressure style and her in depth knowl....

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